The Frank Funny Farm

i'm taking my french midterm on friday, after much searching for the proper hoops to jump through, then jumping through said hoops. it's an online class, so they mail the exam to a suitable proctor, who then babysits me for three hours (hopefully less) and makes sure i don't cheat or something, then mails it back to them. sound simple, right? apparently the people in charge thought so too, so they added in some absurd difficulties for fun. the first is that i should be taking it at some sort of 'testing center' which belmont of course lacks. so that means i should find someone else who proctors, but it shouldn't be a professor - because they're busy and also might help me (WHAT?), but it must be someone wearing official pants or something. anyway, there's a language learning center that offers tutoring and help with, well, language learning, and the head of the dept., who's also an english professor, told me to contact the director of the center. i did, and after a few emailings and stuff he said he could do it, even though it wasn't exactly something they do there (don't tell the people at the university of kansas). so once all this is ironed out, i must go online and request the exam, giving them all the info about where, when and whom. i'm supposed to pick a date at least 10 DAYS after submitting the request so that the snails bringing it here will have plenty of time to get here. because simply emailing the bloody thing would put it on the internets where all those wily thieves hiding in the dark corners of the tubes can snatch it. ARGH. so anyway, they will send it faster as long as i pay for the extra shipping, which i did, partly because i want to take the thing and finish the course already and partly because dr. babysitter-man has graciously agreed to do it on friday. i, thinking i was being thoughtful and considerate in an effort to repay his kindness, told him any time on friday was fine with me. i get an email that says, well, just plan on showing up at 8:15 then. IN THE MORNING! i'm fairly certain i won't even be able to read english at 8:15 in the morning. this, my friends, cannot be good. ug. and on that note, i should probably move on to some other form of procrastination study some more. or go to kroger to get the things i lack to make the chili i want to eat when i get home from class. that's productive, and therefore not procrastination! ha!

Tags: 8:15 is too early for anything, french, procrastination, ridiculous red tape

what do you mean this blog isn't my essay? you say i'm procrastinating? always complaining about how i have too much to do and not enough time to do it in and yet, here i am, blogging. well, i am in fact blogging, but at this very moment my brain is processing what exactly that paper shall be about. they always have to have a purpose, blast them. so, you see, negative nelly, i am, in fact being productive. narrowing ideas as we, um, speak. and besides, it's halloween, you leave me alone. i gots wings to wear around later and knock into things and only go through doorways sideway with. i'm going to be some sort of black fairy thing. or something. i dunno, i got awesome wings. and fishnets. and i have fishnet arm sleeve things, but since A) it's gonna be freakin' cold and B) my brief trying in them on resulted in red itchy hands and three benadryls, i don't think i'll be wearing them. i got crazy eyelashes too. whatever i am, i'm gonna look cool, even if i do have to wear a long sleeve shirt and chuck taylors cuz we'll be running around downtown hunting zombies. some sort of scavenger hunt thingy with a party or something at the end. sounds fun, and a good way to continue to pretend that i'm not all congested and sore-throated and feeling like poo. i let it win yesterday and (accidentally) slept until noon. but now i must return to my patented i'm-not-getting-sick-i'm-perfectly-fine-coughcoughcough method of healing. it always works out well.

anyway, i suppose i shall progress to transcribing some of my head babble to see if any of can be formed into an intelligent essay. or even reasonably intelligent. the bar gets lower as the semester progresses. until the end of course when the things that count the most appear and it's all AAAARGH i have to do fantastically on the finals! why do i have to be such a perfectionist nerd?

ps rant: why is it that commercials must be at least twice as loud as the shows? or in the case of amc, my dearest amc with its all horror all the time during this season, three, maybe four times as loud. yes, you've gotten my attention, but guess what? instead of making me sit there, rapt, realizing my deep need for whatever you're selling, you make me grumble, hit mute and thereby completely ignore you. and yesterday in fact, you made me change the channel. today, you sneaky bastards, not only are you the only people with horror movies on at 9 in the morning, but you have rob zombie hosting, welcoming me back from commercial breaks in all his rob zombie hotness. check and mate.

Tags: halloween, procrastination, rob zombie's hot