Jan 23 2009
sometimes living with an evil genius dog isn’t as much fun as it sounds
hayley is officially that kid who hides her medicine so as to make mom think she ate it. sigh. she's old and over the last several months has developed some stiffness in one of her front legs. whenever she gets up after being down for a bit, there's much limping; while this is funny, it hurts my heart a bit. most of the funny comes from hayley being hayley, meaning she still doesn't often remember she can walk instead of trot or run. so she jumps up and tries to trot to whereever she's headed, but instead does this sort of hopping thing, either not putting her leg down at all, or doing so lightly and without really straightening it. all this with a very determined and excited face. again, hilarious, but soul-cracking. so anyway, we finally got our butts in gear and got her a joint supplement - glucosamine, chondroitin, other stuff - that she gets every day. they're large-ish tablets, liver flavored and chewable for dogs who think anything their person hands them is anexcitingtreatyay! how nice for those people. over here in the land of evil genius dogs, it doesn't work that way.
i was excited the first two days when she actually just ate it. but after the third morning in a row of me handing her the same weird little treat thing after buckley had gone outside she realized it was medicine and i was obviously trying to kill her. still, i tried to wait her out, let that half-tablet sit on her blanket with her all day, thinking perhaps she was just saving it for later. i have been trying very hard to play it cool and seem disinterested in whether or not she takes it. but, by the afternoon, i gave up, blew my cover and tried to get her to eat it. no go. she rolled over to demand a tummy rub (of course) and i did manage to stick it in her mouth towards the back of her tongue and she crunched it down. yesterday operation give hayley her pill went down like this: cleverly hide it in my hand and casually stroll to the closet where the dog treats live, coolly get a milkbone and give it to buckley. hayley comes bouncing and smiling and sitting for her treat and she gets the delightful liver-flavored joint supplement. she is not impressed, taking it to the carpet and dropping it, looking at me like i just sold her out to the mob. being ever cucumber-like, i wait, go about some imaginary business i have and watch as buckley does his usual i'm-done-with-my-treat-but-i-see-you-still-have-yours walk by, which usually results in her devouring anything that's in front of her, regardless of size. not this time. dammit! i had to resort to the tried and true stick my finger down her throat so far i can feel her stomach method to get her to take it. this is the only possible alternative as she can detect medicine in ANYTHING and has the ability to get every last bit of non-medicine food, leaving every last bit of medicine substance with laser-like precision. this is bad enough once a month for the heartworm pill, but every day? argh.
i tried the just give it to her and act casual method again this morning, with hope that would make president obama proud. i observed her nesting around on her blanket and sniffing at it, so after a few more minutes, i went to do a blanket check. she greeted with a casual look, the rollover, trying to be all unsuspicious and innocent but not too innocent. i do have to give her credit; her innocent look has gotten much better over the years, but it's still a dead giveaway. so i begin my quest into and beneath the blanket, searching a person-sized afghan for something that's less than half an inch long and is also the same color as the carpet whilst a clearly affronted jack russell is trying to cover up what you're uncovering before you can adequately uncover it. anyway, beneath many folds, under the middle of the pile was the tablet in question. argh!
the fine folks at greenies make these pill pockets, so i guess tomorrow we'll see how that goes. i'm trying to keep up my obama-style hope and not let the skepticism take over. but seriously, he's never met this dog, what the crap does he know?
