The Frank Funny Farm

i should be writing a prospectus for my final paper in my 'life-writing' or whatever it is class. the paper is supposed to be autobiographical, 15-20 pages with a critical preface. great. swell. NO IDEA what to write about. i have a terrible memory it turns out, which is odd, cuz i am a steel trap when it comes to useless info, people i met once 6 years ago or anything else as irrelevent to life. i found this out last semester when one of my assignments was to do a 'memoir' piece, only 5-6 pages. i only remember past events in random scenes, all soft and hazy around the edges like cheezy movie flashbacks. so for that essay, i mined the one memory that i could collect enough wisps of to fill two, maybe two-and-a-half pages. then i sort of cheated and filled in the gaps with the knowledge gained since i was four about that moment.

so obviously this paper will have to be about something pretty current, which is fine because i'm more interested in now than the past anyway. the idea of some sort of daily-ish diary thing bores me to death and i know i wouldn't keep up with it anyway. never have. i just don't find my life that interesting, and certainly not interesting enough to write 15 pages. bleh. if only i could write a fictional autobiography. i mean, people have made millions doing that. sure you get yelled at by oprah, but i ain't scared. blah blah blah.

so anyway, i'm watching the "fresh water" episode of planet earth, which ben decided to watch without me for some reason. so far i've learned that not only are otters adorable, they are badasses. a herd of them chased a very large crocodile out of the water and far far away on the land. they were biting it and jumping at it, being all "yeah, we're cute and 1/15 of your size, four of us could fit in your mouth at once, but you better step off! we'll bite you! we'll point and laugh, don't make us call you alligator!" otters is cool. and then it cuts to another water hole where a croc just grabbed a water buffalo and spent an hour drowning it. water buffalo, sure. otters, no chance. some days i think i am a crocodile with nothing but otters in sight. sigh.

have i mentioned that i'm so over this being sick thing? this is ridiculous. and it sucks. and i don't have time for it right now. maybe it could come back between dec. 16 and early january if it must? but seriously it's been a week now, what the hell man. i feels like poo and i sleep entirely too much. i had a presentation in class last night and putting that thing together was just stupid. it probably took two days longer than it should have. reading with the giant stuffy, stupid achy cold head would probably be just as easy if it were in japanese. in the end though i feel like at least the info and brilliant thoughts i had compiled onto me lil handout were good, because the professor didn't take issue with anything or really add anything. i sounded like a babbling idiot i'm sure, but that's not that unusual anyway. yes, like now, smartass reader person.

just for that, the babble continues. i ventured to the chiropractorman this morning which was much needed since i hadn't been since last tuesday. i normally go on fridays as well, but he closes at noon and i was not yet awake at that hour, so no cracking for me. anyway, i was in the back laying on the table whilst waiting for him to finish up the lady he'd been working on before me. i'd heard her ask him if he could feel where it was broken and saying something about it grinding and crunching when someone rubbed her back. the words 'lacerated liver' come up, then 'crushed esophagus.' by this point they were up at the desk, where i could see them. this lady looks fine, is wearing boots with heels even. the only evidence i could see of any sort of injury were two broken fingers. i'm thinking "what in the world happened to this woman and why is she bouncing around in normal clothes and heels?" they leave, the doc comes over and says, "that lady was trampled by a bull. like trampled (he makes arm motions to indicate repeated stomping), like the bull was trying to kill her!" i said something to the effect of "holy crap! awesome!" and he says, "i know, it's really interesting, i can't wait till she brings in her scans!" that is why we like him.

ok. back to figuring out what to autobiograph. wonder if i could get away with writing hayley's autobiography? i don't even think i'm going to class, but i still have to turn something in. curse you, al gore for inventing the internets that led to the emails that lead to the having to turn things in whether you show up or not. plbt!

Tags: bull trampling, i'm still freaking sick, otters!, school

i'm feeling all blah and not wanting to read that book and take notes on it any more than i want to dive into reading a play. mostly because i know i won't finish it and i like to just read a play all at once if i can. the wee one is asleep, so it's just me and the cats and the dog that live here, FREEZING. it's that special time of year when it's not quite cold enough to justify turning the heat on, so it's just cold; especially so since the bossman's house (like ours) tends to be cold most of the time anyway. and i tend to be cold most of the time anyway. oh well. i can't and shan't complain (too much) though, because it's finally all fally and glorious outside. wednesday i'll just have to be smart enough to bring a sweatshirt.

maybe that's the reason i'm blah. i mean, freezing lowers your body temperature and slow down your systems and stuff, so i have settled into a state of frozen lethargy apparently. i have no real reason otherwise. i really don't have a case of the mondays. somehow i'm not tired today, even though ben and i stayed up past our bedtime last night. we churched, then went to jim and nick's with the tuckers (man, i would do things for those cheese muffins. dirty things. bad things. things requiring repentance later) where i made the (un)fortunate discovery that not only is their food great, they are masters of the pie as well. our pie-eating lead to ben punning (i can't remember why) "pie definition," which spawned a conversation to determine to what that would make the best title. becky determined that it should be a pie cookbook. i determined that i should never own a pie cookbook. anyway, after we got home we had to watch true blood and then we still weren't totally sleepy so we watched family guy, too. but still, magically not too tired. (knocking on wooden table as we speak - i have class tonight)

we did have a great weekend, though. saturday was spent moving our current batch of wine (a pinotage) from the glass carboy to the plastic bucket, cleaning the carboy so we could return the wine to it and add some stuff to give it a few extra months of tasty. that took longer than we expected, but oh well. november 1 we shall bottle it. yay! then we had an adventure to costco, always and interesting experience and to our 'main event' for the evening: we ventured to cmt to watch the premiere of the exciting new show 'hulk hogan's celebrity wrestling' with a few people from the creative dept. and yes, it was just as fantastic as it sounds,  even better perhaps since the head of creative was dressed as a luchadore. he even had a cape. anyway, after that most of them went to a haunted house but we were forced to be responsible and go home and clean our filthy, neglected, dog-hair covered house. it's much better now.

yesterday we watched some footballs, then i played in the backyard and ben took pictures of me for fun or something. and today i was productive during the morning nap and have spent the other times being entertained greatly by various baby sounds and flailings. she's so awesome. ridiculously happy all the time. i need some of that in my coffee. anyway, perhaps eventually i'll have something at least remotely interesting to say. there's always lots going on in my head, trying to make sense of it and transcribe it is the tricky part. i'm feeling very self-absorbed lately and i do not like it one bit. (oh the irony of blogging that. i'm so narcisstic, look at me, read my blog about nothing, waaah!). there's a lot going on in the general vicinity of me, and no i havent sorted out that french thing yet, though ben keeps saying "take the class, take the class" i may soon give up. that'd be one less thing to swirl about, having a tangible (or internetangible) set of lessons, the accountability, the structure. anyway, if you've made it to the end, kudos. i have no real reward unfortunately. i have this: i'm listening to the bon iver album and i really don't think i'll ever get tired of it, i'm freezing, but half an hour from heading towards coffee (then class, also freezing), i am truly, unbelievably freaking blessed, in just about every possible way (except perhaps metabolically :->), and if you're reading this, then you have access to (and probably own) a computer, electricity and in all likelihood a place to live, you too, are so much better off than so much of the world. say thank you. oh, and tomorrow a happy post, i promise.

Tags: blah, brain dumpin', i'm cold!, weekend

i've been basically reading for the last 3 days pretty much, except for yesterday and saturday night. yesterday because i was working, and de bebe is basically crawling and also teething and always talkative and entertaining, so there's a lot going on when she's awake. saturday night we went to ayne wallace and cory's wedding which was great and then a few of us went to carey's house and i accidentally stayed out until 3 am because the conversation turned to religion and politics. i can't exactly resist those topics, at least with people who are in fact interested in discussion and smart enough to realize that everybody does and should have a different opinion about things, which of course those peoples do or they wouldnt be my friends anyway. so really it's all laurie and jared and ben's fault i didn't get to bed earlier and therefore woke up later than i should've and was tired and stuff. yeah. uh huh.

so anyway no time for blogging, though i'm sure i would've had much more to say if i would have had the time and brainpower. alas. anyway, now you get a lame blog cuz i've been reading since 9 this morning, other than about an hour or hour and a half to hunt down something to write about and then write my news bit for the ol' internship. i even had to be a horrible person and not go play with the kids and/or help with homework or something at the salvation army after school program where i used to work, so that made me even more grumpy. and man, i don't know if i would've liked the diary of samuel pepys any more had i not had to marathon it, i had read bits before, but dooooood. don't ever ever read that so much at once if you ever take the notion / are forced to read it. first of all, a lot of it isn't that interesting. things that could be interesting, like oh, say lots of executions and what not are literally given a sentence, which is usually along the lines of "i saw this guy drawn and quartered today." and then it's just written so blandly for the most part, it reminds me of a business ledger and there really isn't much indication as to his thoughts or feelings beyond something vexing him or angering him. bah. anyway, i'm tired and grumpy and i don't wanna go to class really. or anywhere perhaps, though i'll most likely show up at wilhagan's later. and chances are tonight's class won't be interrupted by a cute lil nun who gives us a tray of tasty tasty cookies like last night's was. she had excellent timing as well, as we were discussing the christian symbols in kafka's the metamorphosis. and her habit was all white, so she just appeared in the doorway, giant smile, sort of glowing, with cookies. you can hear the music can't you? anyway, i suppose i should go make some coffee to keep me alive through class tonight, which should be the final caffeine push that might just set me to vibrate. although i did just yawn...

Tags: cookies, nun, school, tired